From Heirlooms to Hand-Me-Downs: A Guide to Downsizing with your Parents
A Playful Farewell to Clutter
Is your parent’s home bursting at the seams with treasures from yesteryear?
From dusty attic finds to cherished family heirlooms, families face the challenge of sorting through a lifetime of momentos. But as you prepare to downsize, the big question is: what to keep and what to let go?
The Chronicles of Clutter
The family home is a mosaic of memories pieced together from cherished moments of life’s journey. Heirlooms from the old country, souvenirs from travels, kids toys, crumbling board games, VHS collections. These treasures help us tell our family stories, but read between the lines and you’ll find some fluff. Decades of prosperity have led to over-collecting, often bordering on hoarding. No basement or attic is immune to stuff.
If you’re getting overwhelmed by the thought of sorting through your parent’s vinyl collection in search of first pressings, it might be time to face the music. Here’s some helpful tips navigating the journey with your loved ones.
The Joy of Reliving Memories
Frame of mind is key. If you’ve arrived a point where it just has to happen, chances are your family dynamic already tender. Keep a positive mood going, and try to turn it into an opportunity for bonding. Downsizing doesn’t have a rulebook, but it can be a page turner. Get the stories flowing and ask lot’s of questions. It’ll help you determine the importance of items to your parents.
As you sift through your clutter, take a moment to enjoy the nostalgia. Ask mom were that porcelain ballerina came from. Did she always like mid-century modern?
“Are you finished with those car magazines, Dad?”
If you're going at it alone, cue the orchestra on your earbuds or mom's garden radio, and treat it like a walk down memory lane.
Embrace the Swedish Death Cleanse:
Inspired by the Swedish “döstädning”, this method encourages decluttering with mindfulness, with the long-view of lessening the burden that'll fall to your family members when you pass on. It’s a hard truth to face, but getting ahead of the question has its positive side effects, creating the clarity and freedom that comes with decluttering. That process includes deep reflection on our possessions, and how they came into our lives in the first place.
Ask for Help
Enlist family members, cousins and kids, to share their perspectives on items. “Do you still want grandpa’s CD collection?” Keep an open line of zoom-communication going. If you get stuck, they help you decide pass down, and what to pass by. Sometimes what you really need is a few words of encouragement.
As much as we want to hold on to the past, not everything can make the move. Take a hard look at your “maybe” items, and keep things flowing towards the curb.
Downsizing services can make a world of difference when you find yourself out-numbered by collectables. Compassionate professionals can be your right hand in sorting and packing, while you spend quality time where it’s needed most.
Take Your Time
Sorting through a lifetime of memories shouldn’t be a race. In fact, try to remove time from the equation, and focus your energy on the task in front of you. Staying in the present will help you keep an even keel. Try not to think about the approaching deadlines, or how long you’ve been at it.
Keeping a present and neutral frame of mind is useful for journeying into the past and back without loosing too much energy. Try not to get caught up in the negatives, and allow yourself to reminisce and enjoy the process, it’s a unique opportunity to reflect.
Some memories will be painful too, not every family history can be viewed through rose coloured glasses. So be sure to care of yourself emotionally, and take breathers.
Be gentle with Yourself. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions. Acknowledge your feelings and remember that letting go is part of moving forward. Taking care of your health by staying well rested and well fed will give you the energy to make the big push.
Downsizing for a big move often has firm deadlines, and time has a way of slipping away from us, leaving a lot of decisions and grunt labour to that last moment. So if time isn’t on your side, remember it’s still okay to take breaks, return with fresh eyes, and ask for help.
Ask for Help
Make sure you’re well supported. There are professional services who can take of the heavy lifting, while you take care for you family.
Feeling daunted by the process of sorting through your heirlooms? Need help with the careful wrapping? Call or write today for your free consultation. For 30 years Changing Places has helped seniors and their families navigate this sentimental journey with clarity and ease.
